Life in the Iron City
{ Monthly Archives }
Giant Eagle, Southside.
Two men are browsing the BOGO Value Pack bottom-round steaks:
Man #1: Hell yeah! The meat is Angus certified!
Man #2: Who’s Angus?
— Overheard by Don’t Worry, Someone Had To Tell Me What “Deportment” Meant An Hour Later.
Point State Park:
Panhandler: Can you spare some change?
Woman: Get a job.
Panhandler: Bitch!
Woman: Bitch with a job!
Front Row, 50-Yard Line, Heinz Field:
Guy on Cell Phone: Yeah, Dad. You here yet?
— Yeah, we’re right on the 53 yard line.
— Overheard by Amber
Target, Waterfront:
30-Year-Old Dude: I’m going to put a chapter about that in my book. And I will write that book, just watch. MY MEMOIRS. Do you think people will buy it? I’ll put a chapter about you in there.
— Overheard by Sancho Pizza
Pharmacy Line, Giant Eagle Marketplace, Centre Ave, Shadyside .
A seemingly confused midde-aged woman wheels her cart into line, bumping into people and shopping carts.
Employee: Hey! I haven’t seen you for a while! How have you been?
Confused Woman: Oh, fine. I got hit by a car on Friday, but otherwise great.
— Overheard by Impressed
67F Outbound, near CVS, Wilkins Ave, Squirrel Hill
Man: That’s the house where my sister shot her husband.
[Silence.]
Law Firm, Downtown:
Male Paralegal: [to Female Paralegal] Jane and I were just having fun with hot wax.
— Overheard by Curious Esquire
Loews Cineplex, Waterfront. Evening.
Both Eragon and The Pursuit of Happyness showing in preview screenings in adjacent theaters, and people are becoming confused about which one they need. A man wanders into the theater for the Eragon screening and then bumps around, lost:
Woman: Are you looking for Happyness?
Man: I gave up looking for happiness years ago. Now I’m just trying to find my friends.
— Overheard by Rob of UnSpace
Milton Hall, CCAC, North Side:
Girl #1: My mom makes so much food for Christmas Eve.
Girl #2: Oh, I know. I can’t wait. My mom makes baklava.
Girl #1: Ohhhh! I love that.
Girl #2: Yeah, my mom makes it with that real oily fish.
Girl #1: [disgusted] What?
Girl #2: You know; she uses that real oily fish to make her baklava.
Girl #1: Are you serious? That’s fucking disgusting!
Girl #2: [shrugging] Well, what can I say? We’re Slovak!
— Overheard by Michael Dittman
Carnegie Library, Oakland.
One Janitor tells another the plot of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol:
Janitor #1: The first ghost was named “Pinkie”, and he beat the crap out of death.
Janitor #2: Aaah…