Archive for December 2006
Friday, December 29th, 2006
“Only the best Scottish rabbi in Pittsburgh.”
Giant Eagle, Southside.
Two men are browsing the BOGO Value Pack bottom-round steaks:
Man #1: Hell yeah! The meat is Angus certified!
Man #2: Who’s Angus?
— Overheard by Don’t Worry, Someone Had To Tell Me What “Deportment” Meant An Hour Later.
No Comments » - Tags: Food & Drink, Intelligence, Southside
Friday, December 29th, 2006
Winner, Best New Keychain Slogan, 2006
Point State Park:
Panhandler: Can you spare some change?
Woman: Get a job.
Panhandler: Bitch!
Woman: Bitch with a job!
No Comments » - Tags: Downtown, Money, Social Divisions, Work, Arguments
Friday, December 29th, 2006
I thought that line only appeared on TV.
Front Row, 50-Yard Line, Heinz Field:
Guy on Cell Phone: Yeah, Dad. You here yet?
— Yeah, we’re right on the 53 yard line.
— Overheard by Amber
1 Comment » - Tags: Sports, North Shore
Thursday, December 28th, 2006
New York Times Bestseller:My Boring Life by Some Dude
Target, Waterfront:
30-Year-Old Dude: I’m going to put a chapter about that in my book. And I will write that book, just watch. MY MEMOIRS. Do you think people will buy it? I’ll put a chapter about you in there.
— Overheard by Sancho Pizza
Wednesday, December 27th, 2006
Anne was running out of good excuses to see Kevin.
Pharmacy Line, Giant Eagle Marketplace, Centre Ave, Shadyside .
A seemingly confused midde-aged woman wheels her cart into line, bumping into people and shopping carts.
Employee: Hey! I haven’t seen you for a while! How have you been?
Confused Woman: Oh, fine. I got hit by a car on Friday, but otherwise great.
— Overheard by Impressed
Wednesday, December 27th, 2006
Ah, the memories…
67F Outbound, near CVS, Wilkins Ave, Squirrel Hill
Man: That’s the house where my sister shot her husband.
[Silence.]
1 Comment » - Tags: Squirrel Hill, @ Bus, Death, Violence, TMI, Crime, Tragedy & Horror
Wednesday, December 27th, 2006
Boston Legal is more realistic than you might imagine.
Law Firm, Downtown:
Male Paralegal: [to Female Paralegal] Jane and I were just having fun with hot wax.
— Overheard by Curious Esquire
No Comments » - Tags: Downtown, Attraction, Love & Sex, Work
Tuesday, December 26th, 2006
Overheard in Pittsburgh Life Lessons™: If you can’t find fulfillment, at least you can still hang out.
Loews Cineplex, Waterfront. Evening.
Both Eragon and The Pursuit of Happyness showing in preview screenings in adjacent theaters, and people are becoming confused about which one they need. A man wanders into the theater for the Eragon screening and then bumps around, lost:
Woman: Are you looking for Happyness?
Man: I gave up looking for happiness years ago. Now I’m just trying to find my friends.
— Overheard by Rob of UnSpace
No Comments » - Tags: Waterfront, Beliefs, Credos & Theories, Arts & Entertainment, Friends, Life Lessons™
Tuesday, December 26th, 2006
Slovaklava
Milton Hall, CCAC, North Side:
Girl #1: My mom makes so much food for Christmas Eve.
Girl #2: Oh, I know. I can’t wait. My mom makes baklava.
Girl #1: Ohhhh! I love that.
Girl #2: Yeah, my mom makes it with that real oily fish.
Girl #1: [disgusted] What?
Girl #2: You know; she uses that real oily fish to make her baklava.
Girl #1: Are you serious? That’s fucking disgusting!
Girl #2: [shrugging] Well, what can I say? We’re Slovak!
— Overheard by Michael Dittman
1 Comment » - Tags: Holidays, Food & Drink, Social Divisions, Intelligence, CCAC
Tuesday, December 26th, 2006
“The best part is when Scrooge eats a Power Pellet and chomps Clyde, the Ghost of Christmas Present.”
Carnegie Library, Oakland.
One Janitor tells another the plot of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol:
Janitor #1: The first ghost was named “Pinkie”, and he beat the crap out of death.
Janitor #2: Aaah…