Archive for November 2006
Thursday, November 9th, 2006
No matter how much money Mark offered, Chad wouldn’t take the bet.
Panther Hollow Inn, Oakland:
Guy: Not like a whole midget, but, like half a midget.
– Overheard by Dr. Big AL
Tuesday, November 7th, 2006
What do you get when you mix the library with Maury Povich?
Carnegie Library, East Liberty.
A clerk is registering a woman and her daughter’s returned children’s books:
Daughter: [looking at clerk intensely] Daddy!
Mother: [looking shocked at her daughter] What!?!?
Clerk: [silently registers the books, visibly uncomfortable.]
— Overheard by coreyw
No Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized, East Liberty, Children, Parents & Grandparents, @ Library, Attraction, Love & Sex
Monday, November 6th, 2006
Missed Opportunities
67H Inbound, near Mercy Hospital, the Bluff.
A short and round Old Lady in a knit cap is talking to herself loudly as she leaves the bus:
Old Lady: [in a strange, high-pitched voice] My legs- my legs- my legs- my legs- I won’t- I won’t- I won’t- I won’t-
Old Lady: [stops, puts an arm around the waist of a much taller Young Man by the door and smiles up at him.]
Old Lady: Kiss me! I love you!”
Young Man: [says and does nothing, trying with difficulty not to laugh. Old Lady, unphased, gets off the bus. Doors close.]
Bus Driver: [deadpan, breaking strained silence] I should’ve been a pilot.
— Overheard by Wendy D.
No Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized, @ Bus, Age, Attraction, Love & Sex, Work
Friday, November 3rd, 2006
You can’t argue with that logic.
Evaline Halloween Party, Friendship:
Guy in Black Jumpsuit: I’m really sorry. We’re packed right now, and we can’t let anyone else in.
Girl in Heavy Coat: But I’m an electrical engineer– [Opens coat to reveal costume] –dressed as a sexy nurse.
Guy in Black Jumpsuit: Hold on. Stay right here for a minute. [Leaves and returns with admission bracelets]
No Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized, Friendship, Nerds, Holidays, Money
Thursday, November 2nd, 2006
Sienna Miller just can’t get a break in Shittsburgh.
Evaline Halloween Party, Friendship:
Wounded Ben Roethlisberger #4: Hey, is that Sienna Miller?
Some Sort of Sexy Cat Chick: I don’t think so; doesn’t she usually look like shit?
No Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized, Friendship, Celebrity
Wednesday, November 1st, 2006
How do you know when your child is too smart for her own good?
Howley St., Bloomfield. Halloween night.
A woman dressed as a Witch hands candy out to a group of children at her door, including a little girl in a bathrobe, messy makeup, and curlers:
Witch: What are you dressed as?
Little Girl: “Depression.”