Archive for November 2006

Thursday, November 30th, 2006

Until that day, Fred never had a word for the way he felt.

Penn Ave, Strip District.
A 30-something Guy browses the Steelers-related merchandise on the street, reading a few clever t-shirts outload:

Guy: [turning to no one in particulay] What’s a Jag-Off?

Everyone around ignores him.

Guy: I’m serious: What is a Jag-Off?


Thursday, November 30th, 2006

Black teenagers are scary.

In front of True Value Hardware, Brownsville Road, in Carrick.
A bunch of “inner-city” kids are loitering:

Dude: Hey, I didn’t know True Value had a gang!
— Overheard by Aidinslevel


Wednesday, November 29th, 2006

Johnny Appleseed was racist.

54C Inbound, Oakland:
Excessively Drunk Blonde Girl #1: Ohmigod! Can you believe I spend $480 getting my nails done every year?!
Excessively Drunk Blonde Girl #2: That’s totally enough to feed some starving child in Africa!
Excessively Drunk Blonde Girl #1: I don’t care! Why don’t they just pick apples off trees or something?
Excessively Drunk Blonde Girl #2: They don’t have apple trees in Africa.


Wednesday, November 29th, 2006

Overheard in Pittsburgh Life Lessons™: Find your window.

Giant Eagle Marketplace, Shadyside:

Haggard Late-20s Guy: Hey, you know that chick I always thought was hot in college?
Cool Dude: Yeah?
Haggard Late-20s Guy: Well, I just saw her here. She looks like she’s gained weight, so she might actually be in my class now.
Cool Dude: Do it up, man.

— Overheard by the Olympic Park Bomber


Tuesday, November 28th, 2006

Living with the Enemy

Bus Stop, Fifth and Bigelow, Oakland.
A Pitt Girl in a Cleveland Browns sweatshirt leans against a wall, waiting for a bus. A middle-aged Office Lady walks by with friends.

Office Lady: Are you a Browns fan?”
Pitt Girl: Yes.

Office Lady hugs her and walks away as the Pitt Girl looks bewildered.


Tuesday, November 28th, 2006

Why Going to College Doesn’t Mean As Much Anymore

Calculus Class, Langley Hall, Pitt Campus:
Professor: G of X is equal to F of U.
CoolDude #1: [laughing quietly, pleased with himself] F U!
CoolDude #2: [laughing hard] F U! I never would have thought of that!
—Overheard by Sophie


Monday, November 27th, 2006

J8E1W4S1

Thanksgiving Party, Squirel Hill.
Five guests play Scrabble™ while the turkey finishes roasting. Guest #1 puts a four letter word onto the board:

Guest #2: Take that back.
Guest #3: I think he can play it; it’s certainly a real word.
Hostess: What’s all the fuss?
Guest #2: He just played “jews” for 20 points with a double-word score.

—Overheard by The Connor


Monday, November 27th, 2006

How to Know When Your Life is Controlled by Rupert Murdoch

The Cut, CMU campus.
A bunch of students are playing loud techno music at a barbecue while clubs hold fundraisers nearby. A guy in an Eagles jersey is selling donuts when a friend passes by:

Friend: Eagles suck!
Eagles Fan: Steelers suck!
Friend: STEELERS!
Eagles Fan: EAGLES!
Random Passer By: COWBOYS!

The blasting techno music at the barbecue is suddenly replaced by the Fox NFL theme.
— Overheard by Ka-CHANG

Friday, November 24th, 2006

It’s fun to pretend you’re engaging in a friendly rivalry with a stranger when you’re actually just being a dick.

Men’s restroom of the new North Shore parking garage. Before the Backyard Brawl:

Elderly Pitt fan: [pointing at the sinks] Why is there a line? We have three open urinals! [Points to WVU fan in line.] Wait, make that four!

— Overheard by Neal


Friday, November 24th, 2006

Wasn’t winning enough for you?

Heinz Field. Pitt / WVU Backyard Brawl Halftime.
The Pitt marching band and majorettes are on the field:

Disgruntled WVU Fan: YOUR FLAG GIRLS SUCK!

— Overheard by coreyw