Overheard in Pittsburgh

Penn Ave, Strip District.
A 30-something Guy browses the Steelers-related merchandise on the street, reading a few clever t-shirts outload:

Guy: [turning to no one in particulay] What’s a Jag-Off?

Everyone around ignores him.

Guy: I’m serious: What is a Jag-Off?

In front of True Value Hardware, Brownsville Road, in Carrick.
A bunch of “inner-city” kids are loitering:

Dude: Hey, I didn’t know True Value had a gang!
— Overheard by Aidinslevel

54C Inbound, Oakland:
Excessively Drunk Blonde Girl #1: Ohmigod! Can you believe I spend $480 getting my nails done every year?!
Excessively Drunk Blonde Girl #2: That’s totally enough to feed some starving child in Africa!
Excessively Drunk Blonde Girl #1: I don’t care! Why don’t they just pick apples off trees or something?
Excessively Drunk Blonde Girl #2: They don’t have apple trees in Africa.

Giant Eagle Marketplace, Shadyside:

Haggard Late-20s Guy: Hey, you know that chick I always thought was hot in college?
Cool Dude: Yeah?
Haggard Late-20s Guy: Well, I just saw her here. She looks like she’s gained weight, so she might actually be in my class now.
Cool Dude: Do it up, man.

— Overheard by the Olympic Park Bomber

Bus Stop, Fifth and Bigelow, Oakland.
A Pitt Girl in a Cleveland Browns sweatshirt leans against a wall, waiting for a bus. A middle-aged Office Lady walks by with friends.

Office Lady: Are you a Browns fan?”
Pitt Girl: Yes.

Office Lady hugs her and walks away as the Pitt Girl looks bewildered.

Calculus Class, Langley Hall, Pitt Campus:
Professor: G of X is equal to F of U.
CoolDude #1: [laughing quietly, pleased with himself] F U!
CoolDude #2: [laughing hard] F U! I never would have thought of that!
—Overheard by Sophie

Thanksgiving Party, Squirel Hill.
Five guests play Scrabble™ while the turkey finishes roasting. Guest #1 puts a four letter word onto the board:

Guest #2: Take that back.
Guest #3: I think he can play it; it’s certainly a real word.
Hostess: What’s all the fuss?
Guest #2: He just played “jews” for 20 points with a double-word score.

—Overheard by The Connor

Men’s restroom of the new North Shore parking garage. Before the Backyard Brawl:

Elderly Pitt fan: [pointing at the sinks] Why is there a line? We have three open urinals! [Points to WVU fan in line.] Wait, make that four!

— Overheard by Neal

Heinz Field. Pitt / WVU Backyard Brawl Halftime.
The Pitt marching band and majorettes are on the field:

Disgruntled WVU Fan: YOUR FLAG GIRLS SUCK!

— Overheard by coreyw