UPMC Emergency Room Waiting Area, Shadyside:

Pregnant Girl: Ya know, I’m worried about this baby. It’s like I don’t believe in whopping and beating kids at all.
Friend: Yeah, me either.
Pregnant Girl: It’s just that, if somebody ain’t listenin’ to me the first time I say something I will punch them in the chest.
Friend: You can’t punch kids in the chest.
Pregnant Girl: Then they better listen `cause I don’t believe in spanking, but I will punch them in the chest.

— Overheard by Pitt Student