Probably Not What He Was Hoping to Hear
Bus Stop on Forbes Ave across from Hamburg Hall, CMU Campus:
Punk Girl: And so he kept asking about my nipple piercings, and I told him, “Hey, boys can accessorize too!”
— Overheard by TheConnor
{ Monthly Archives }
October 2006
Grandpa hid his alcohol problem in hollowed-out books
Costco, Robinson Township:
Middle-Aged Man: I think he reads alot.
Middle-Aged Woman: Just because you carry around books with you all the time doesn’t mean you’re “well read”.
ADD makes kids forget to take their guns to school.
Eat’n'Park, Squirrel Hill.
Two Retired Teachers talk loudly over their husbands:
Retired Teacher #1: [to Retired Teacher #2] I thought for sure I would die in the classroom. Guess I was wrong.
–Overheard by Psychic Sarah
Philadelphia; The State of Brotherly Love
61A Outbound, Oakland. Saturday night.
A college female student with a cheek piercing sits down near a drunk woman:
Drunk Woman: Hey, did that hurt? [points to Girl's cheek]
Pierced Girl: Uh, yeah, but not that bad.
Drunk Woman: Hmm. [stares for a while] I like that; it’s cute. How much did it cost you to get that done?
Pierced Girl: [avoiding eye contact] Umm, like 30 or 40 dollars.
Drunk Woman: Really?! That’s cheap! Where’d you go?
Pierced Girl: Oh, not around here; in Philadelphia.
Drunk Woman: Ahhhhhh, so you went out of state to get it done. Yeah, it’s way cheaper if you go out of state. Like me: I got my lip done and my tongue pierced twice [sticks out tongue and shows her], but I went out of state to get it done, and that’s why it was so cheap.
Pierced Girl: [nods, trying not to laugh]
Drunk Woman: Yeah, if you’d-a gotten that done in-state, it’d prolly be like 70 or 80 dollars.
Pierced Girl: Oh, yeah.
Given the subject, why does this seem so gay?
Juliet St., South Oakland.
Four Frat Guys are on their way to a party:
Frat Guy #1: —pop it in her eye?
Frat Guy #2: No, I just squirted in her mouth and left.
[All four erupt in congratulatory, knowing laughter.]
—Overheard by Jack-o-Lantern
Just ask Jude Law
Market Square, Downtown:
College Guy: It’s so difficult having an argument with someone so stupid.
Someone should tell the makers of Monopoly
Dungeons and Dragons Gaiming Room, Phantom of the Attic Games, Oakland:
30-Something Dungeon Master: I guess the concept is you balance the boring with the interesting.
He’s busy telling my children about the heating bill.
Near Dowes on 9th, Downtown:
Guy: Has anyone seen Franco Harris?
The quilting bee can really bust your balls
Forbes Avenue near Dithridge, Pitt Campus:
Macho College Guy: People will ask you if you sew; that’s like fucking tying your shoelaces.
— Overheard by Kelly
Watching Studio 60 was important to Travis, but not as much as heroin.
In front of Phantom of the Attic Comics, Craig Street, Oakland:
Black Woman in Bead-Laden African Garb: Hey, is that bead store closed permanently?
Thin, Cracked-Out White Man: I’m not sure; it wouldn’t be the first store on Craig Street to not be open Mondays — like that crepe place.
Black Woman: Sir, it’s, uh, Tuesday.
White Man: Oh. Oh god.
— Overheard by TheConnor