Archive for September 2006
Tuesday, September 19th, 2006
Bill and Doug’s fantasies were ruined when they found out that Japanese genitalia isn’t actually blurry in real life
Housewares Section, Macy’s, South Hills Village Mall:
Woman #1: They’re going to Japan to teach English for a year.
Woman #2: Wow, really?
Woman #1: Yep.
Woman #2: Why are they doing that?
Woman #1: [totally serious] Well, they both really like anime…
Woman #2: Oh.
— Overheard by Kelly
No Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized, Nerds, Education, Work, Arts & Entertainment, South Hills
Monday, September 18th, 2006
It’s more probability than magic
Oakland Ave near Fuel and Fuddle, Oakland.
Three CMU Students are walking toward Fuel and Fuddle. Two Pitt students walk about 50 feet ahead of them:
CMU Student #1: Whoa; I’m pretty sure that Pitt student is totally drunk.
Pitt Student: [shouting] I am SO DRUNK!
CMU Student #2: That was AMAZING!
CMU Student #3: Do it again!
— Overheard by TheConnor
Friday, September 15th, 2006
“Hepatitis B+ is even worse!”
Riverfront Park by Carnegie Science Center, North Shore:
Girl: DON’T FALL INTO THE RIVER! YOU’LL GET HEPATITIS B!
Guy: I HAVE THAT!
Girl: I KNOW!
— Overheard by jaye
Friday, September 15th, 2006
At the end of his shift, Gary sobbed for a while in the dark of his bus.
63B Outbound, in front of the US Steel Building, Downtown. Early evening.
A nearby cop is writing a ticket to a motorist:
Bus Driver: He’s from Ohio; double it!
Bus Passenger: Did you tell him to double it?
Bus Driver: Yeah, and if I knew he was from Cleveland, I’d have told him to triple it.
No Comments » - Tags: @ Bus, Money, Sports, Government & Law, Yinzers, Crime
Thursday, September 14th, 2006
“My whole life is a lie!!!”
The Marketplace, Pitt Campus:
Girl: So for the past 19 years of my life I’ve been five-foot-three. I always thought I was five-foot-three, but today they tell me I’m five-foot-two!
Guy: Who told you that you were five-foot-two?
Girl: The people in my physical fitness class; they do all themeasurements—
Boy: Oh… I—
Girl: —five-foot-two! I can’t get over it: How the hell can I be five-foot-three one year and five-foot-two the next?! How?! How?! How?!
[Seriouly troubled, she continues to pursue the conversation.]
— Overheard by Joel and Zack, UPitt students
1 Comment » - Tags: Uncategorized, Pitt, Fashion, Style & Beauty, Age, Health: Physical & Mental, Education, Intelligence, Beliefs, Credos & Theories
Thursday, September 14th, 2006
Birth of a Slur
House Party, Forbes Ave, Oakland:
Drunk Girl: I don’t get your analogy, man. What happens when a car and a house make babies?
Drunk Guy: RVs, babe.
Drunk Girl: So those would be biracial people?
Drunk Guy: In my head, yeah.
— Overheard by TheConnor
No Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized, Drinking, Drunks & Bars, Nerds, Attraction, Love & Sex, Social Divisions, Beliefs, Credos & Theories
Thursday, September 14th, 2006
Welcome to Year 2
Today is the first day of the second year of Overheard in Pittsburgh.
Thanks to everyone who has contributed so far, and thanks to my readers for sticking with me, particularly through the rationing of the past few months; it looks like Overheard in Pittsburgh is one more thing that wakes up in the City of Colleges when the academic year begins again. (Plus, I’ve been sleeping on couches for the past few months.)
Already, the amazing regular contributors like Rotzi, Pharout, TheConnor, McArdle, Zelda, Ka-CHANG, and many others have inundated me with loving anecdotes about drunk college students and the like, and so I can again increase the number of submissions to three or so a day. I have to warn you: For the next few weeks at least, you should be prepared to envision a lot of red plastic Dixie™ cups.
The long-promised prettification of the site will appear soon; I’ve decided to do forgo the help of someone who might know what they are doing and affix the site to the internet with nothing but cello tape, thumb tacks, and shame. Hopefully, you won’t be able to notice the tape and tacks.
Thanks again for sticking around; it’s about to stop being awesome and start being super-awesome again.
Stay Alert,
Chris
No Comments » - Tags: Admin
Thursday, September 14th, 2006
Pay no attention to Luke Ravenstahl behind the curtain.
Outside St. Paul’s Cathedral, 5th Ave, Oakland:
Girl #1: Did you see the mayor’s funeral here a few days ago?
Girl #2: Yeah. They had horses.
Girl #1: I don’t get why they have funerals in churches. What if you got invited, but you were an atheist?
Girl #2: I don’t see the problem here.
Girl #1: Well, you know, it’d be all distracting when the atheist mourner walks in and starts melting and screaming ’cause he’s on holy ground and God doesn’t like him.
Girl #2: Like at the end of Wizard of Oz? I don’t think it works that way.
— Overheard by TheConnor
No Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized, Oakland, Celebrity, Arts & Entertainment, Animals, Government & Law, Religion, Death
Wednesday, September 13th, 2006
The City of Colleges
Packed 54C, Craig Street:
Elderly Black Lady #1: Buses are slow this week!
Elderly Black Lady #2: Mmm hmm.
Elderly Black Lady #1: And crowded!
Elderly Black Lady #2: Mmm hmm.
Elderly Black Lady #1: And everyone’s being so rude!
Elderly Black Lady #2: Mmm hmm.
Elderly Black Lady #1: Oh, I know why: The college students are back.
Elderly Black Lady #2: Mmm hmm.
— Overheard by Ka-CHANG
No Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized, Oakland, @ Bus, Age, Education, Social Divisions
Wednesday, September 13th, 2006
P.T. Barnum never taught women how to size a bra.
Carnegie Library, Bloomfield.
Two librarians are reading a book about circus elephants to a group of 3rd graders:
Librarian: [points at elephants on page] Can anyone tell me what the “Greatest Show on Earth” is?
Girl: Oprah.
- Overheard by Anonymous Librarian