Overheard in Pittsburgh

Cherry Way & Smithfield, near Weiner World, Downtown:

Stan the Flahr Man: Beautyfull flahrs here, I got beautyfull roses. Buy your wife some flahrs.
Or your girlfriend. Or your mistress. Beautyfull flahrs.

- Overheard by Zelda

Carnegie Pulse Staff Meeting, CMU. First Day of Classes:

Junior: Hey, are there any freshmen in the room?
Senior: No, all our new reporters are sophomores and juniors.
Junior: OK, cool. I have an announcement- maybe even an article I could write. I am tired of these fucking freshmen.

- Overheard by TheConnor

Habachi Table, Young Bin Kwan Restaurant Korean Restaurant, Bloomfield:

Yinzer #1: You think they got ice cream here?
Yinzer #2: What do you think this is, Isaly’s?

— Overheard by McArdle

Starbucks, 6th & Penn Aves, Dahntahn. Morning:

Disheveled Man: Your shoes are untied.
Businessman: Oh, thank you.
Disheveled Man: [beaming] Don’t thank me; thank AA!

- Overheard by “Venti Skim Chai for Meegan.

Baggage Claim, Pittsburgh International Airport.
A thin woman with crutches passes, her daughter in tow:

College Kid #1: Wow… she was hot. And, like, she’s got crutches, so she can’t run away fast.
College Kid #2: She’s perfect for you then.
College Kid #1: And she’s skinny too.
College Kid #2: So she’d be like, Skim MILF?
College Kid #1: You bastard.

- Overheard by TheConnor

Inner City Perceptions, PCTV:

Brother John: I have seen West Indians, I have seen Out-West Indians, and I have seen Indians from India, but I’ve never seen a red man.

- Overheard by mumbling scrapwaver

Hot Dog Stand, Kennywood:

Little Girl: Can I call to complain about the ice cream man?
Mother: No…
Little Girl: He gave me a popsicle yesterday, and it was melting!

- Overheard by M.Davies

Post office, Bouquet St., Oakland.
A Man’s voice erupts from behind the door to the manager’s office:

Man: For every hot girl out there, there’s a guy who wants to fuck her. But for every one of those guys, there’s a guy who won’t put up with her shit.

- Overheard by Doom Kitty

Dance Floor, Lava Lounge, Southside:
Blonde Chick to Jeans Guy: Well, my ex-boyfriend is smaller than you, and he could do it.

— Overheard by Wendy D.