Archive for July 2006

Tuesday, July 11th, 2006

The Power of Persuasion

Jitters, Shadyside:

Slim Woman: [leaning over the counter] Just a small one with skim milk.
Barista: How much do you weigh? 120? You don’t need skim.
Slim Woman: Okay, I’ll go with 2% —Wait, can I have a milkshake?

— Overheard by grammarnerd.


Monday, July 10th, 2006

There’s always a silver lining.

Ice Cream-Eating Contest for Bethel Presbyterian’s Youth Mission Trip fund.
Washington Crown Center Mall, Washington, PA:

Food Court Worker/Contestant #1: Good Luck.
Food Court Worker/Contestant #2: I don’t need luck. I’m a retard.

— Overheard by a happy marketing director


Friday, July 7th, 2006

Queer Eye

71C Outbound, Mid-Town. Mid-Day:

A 50-Something Black Woman in leopard-print spandex, Coke-bottle glasses,
and a fur coat: I told her da truth! It’d be different if I was lyin’, but I was tellin’ da truth! Y’ain’t supposed tuh wear no tube socks wit dress shoes, and y’ain’t supposed tuh put no GREASE ON A WIG! Someitmes… she wears…. a BRAAAAAAUGHHH!

Overheard by Cypriot K


Thursday, July 6th, 2006

You just need to coordinate a few people with hairspray cans.

Library, Castle Shannon.
A Cantankerous Older Woman complains to the patient librarian who has already checked her out:

Cantankerous Older Woman: When I was young, you could count on the seasons. It went Spring! Summer! Fall! Winter!
[sharp hand gestures accompany each season]
Just like that, every year, no question.
Not anymore.
And we never had any of the confusion like there is now: a cold day in May, a warm day in January. That just didn’t happen.
You just don’t know what to expect. Someone should do something about that.

Overheard by Jami


Wednesday, July 5th, 2006

“It sure is, girl!”

Hastings Street, Point Breeze:
A Rroad Worker leans on the bulldozer another is sitting in.

Road Worker 1: Oh man, is that Crystal Light?