Archive for June 2006

Thursday, June 29th, 2006

That’s probably exactly what it means.

Nails by Tony, Cranberry Township.
A pedicurist asks a young woman what her Chinese symbol tattoo means:

Young Woman: Um, when they put it on, they said it meant “intelligence”, but, uh, I don’t know.


Wednesday, June 28th, 2006

Isn’t being an adult awesome?

Outside Vendor, Pitt Campus, Oakland.
A group of 18-year-old girls, each with several Pitt Book Center shopping bags around her wrist, are talking and flirting with a lanky Outside Vendor worker:

Pre-Frosh Girl: [bragging and pointing to each of her newly pierced ear holes] Piercing. Piercing.
Lanky Worker: Wow, you’re a badass.


Tuesday, June 27th, 2006

“But it doesn’t matter if the baby’s pressing on it.”

Wilkins School, Regent Square, 11 p.m.
A group of swing dancers chats in the parking lot, and a straggler joins them. They all look at him blankly:

Straggler: Are you all talking about my bladder?
Girl in group: Maybe.
Straggler: ‘Cause it’s my largest organ, you know.

— Overheard by grammarnerd


Monday, June 26th, 2006

She wanted her daughter to declare a pre-marriage major like her.

Forbes Tower, Oakland, Fourth Floor Computer Lab:

Girl, to her friend: My mom keeps telling me I should find a doctor to go out with. She said, “Don’t you know anyone cute at school who’s a doctor or going to be a doctor?” And I said, “Yeah, mom: ME!”

Thursday, June 22nd, 2006

90% of my dreams begin this way.

Romp n Roll, Glenshaw.
Informal photo shoot for Steel City Derby Demons and Pabst Blue Ribbon promotion:

Roller Derby Skater #1: No way you look like you’re 18! Look at those curves! Look at that cleavage!
Roller Derby Skater #2: You haven’t watched much Hustler: Barely Legal, have you?

— Overheard by PLA


Thursday, June 22nd, 2006

“In Schenley Park at night on the bare earth?”*

Cinema in the Park showing of War of the Worlds, Flagstaff Hill, Schenley Park.
A student directs his friend on the spreading of the picnic blanket:

Student: Spread it! Spread it like my herpes!

*Keep on trucking, Schenley Park men’s room #8!


Wednesday, June 21st, 2006

It’s my non-dairy Gilmore Girls

CMU:
Guy #1: Hey, you see Scrubs last night?
Guy #2: Heh, is that like your patch for when there’s no Lost?
Guy #1: Yes! Scrubs is my Lost nicotine patch!

— Overheard by K-CHANG!


Tuesday, June 20th, 2006

Magic Beans

61A, Forbes Ave, toward Squirrel Hill:

Working Class Guy #1: [referring to the 100-ft-tall sculpture “Walking to the Sky”] What’s that? I haven’t seen it before.
Working Class Guy #2: They must have put it up recently. What do you think it’s supposed to represent?
Working Class Guy #1: [referring to the fake people in the sculpture] They’re all walking up the pole, but there’s nothing up there.
Working Class Guy #2: Yeah, it looks unfinished, like there ought to be a money-tree on the top of it, or something.
Working Class Guy #1: Yeah, that would make more sense.

- Overheard by Daniel Golovin


Friday, June 16th, 2006

Kids are so stupid.

Forbes Avenue, Squirrel Hill.
A man walks with his young daughter. A sparrow hops by on the sidewalk:

Toddler: Daddy, I want to hold the bird!
Daddy: How could you hold a bird? Sweetie, birds don’t hold.

- Overheard by zig


Thursday, June 15th, 2006

That describes every city.

Bus Stop near Hillman Library, Oakland:

Guy #1: Okay, are you from Mexico City?
Guy #2: No.
Guy #1: Okay, well it’s fuckin’ crowded as hell, and it smells horrible. And the traffic is horrible.

— Overheard by Michael Davies