Archive for May 2006
Wednesday, May 31st, 2006
Good news for the nerds:
The Atom feed’s back up.
1 Comment » - Tags: Uncategorized
Wednesday, May 31st, 2006
The Official Slogan of the North Side
61C Inbound:
Guy on Cell: Yeah, I’m headed down from McKeesport.
— [Suddenly very loud] MAAANNN, I DON’T WANNA GO TO THE NORTH SIDE! NIGGAS CRAAAZY OVER THERE!
Overheard in Pittsburgh Note: This slogan does not cover the North Shore, where white people safely spend money on sports and culture. While it’s essentially the same place; it’s important to know the difference when reporting on crime or cultural development. See: “Waterfront vs. Homestead.”
3 Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Tuesday, May 30th, 2006
“You’ve got to get yourself together; you got stuck in a moment and now you can’t get out of it.”
Eat `n’ Park Cash Register, Murray Ave, Squirrel Hill:
BP Uniform Guy: [Spreads his jacket like a cape] He’s all, “TELL ME
I’M A ROCKSTAR, TELL ME I’M A ROCKSTAR!” God, shut up, Bono.
1 Comment » - Tags: Uncategorized
Friday, May 26th, 2006
Anything can be a spectator sport.
Ellsworth and Negley, Shady Side.
A female driver stopped at a red light begins to pick her nose aggressively:
Pedestrian: GET IN THERE! HUNKER DOWN AND GET IT DONE! YEAH!
1 Comment » - Tags: Uncategorized
Thursday, May 25th, 2006
“Yeah, but you know what? This one here? This was my dream, my wish. And it didn’t come true. So I’m taking it back. I’m taking them all back.”
Fountain, Waterfront.
A 20-something guy is stealthily scooping change from the fountain, when a 30-something woman opens the door at Yokoso!:
Woman: YOU’RE STEALING ALL OUR WISHES! STOP! STOP! I SEE YOU! YOU’RE STEALING OUR WISHES!
[The guy runs away, and the woman goes back inside Yokoso!]
— Overheard by E Skee.
3 Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Wednesday, May 24th, 2006
The CDC does not recommend this method of breaking the news to a former partner.
Inside a Car, Forbes & Shady, Squirrel Hill.
Many people are outside enjoying the evening, including an attractive 20-something couple having a conversation:
Girl in Car: [yelling out window] CHLAMYDIA! CHLAMYDIA!
[…]
Girl in Car: [to other passengers] I don’t know that girl.
— Overheard by Alyia
No Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Tuesday, May 23rd, 2006
You have to break in little leaguers just like their gloves.
Little League Game, McGunnigle Field, Sheriden:
The aggressive home team is beating the befuddled visiting team 15-0
Home Team’s Third-Base Coach: [to runner on 2nd] THERE WAS LESS THAN TWO OUTS! THE PITCHER HAD THE BALL BUT WASN’T YET ON THE RUBBER! WHY
DIDN’T YOU KNOW YOU COULD RUN TO 3RD?!?
Visiting Team’s Coach: [from bench] Maybe because he’s nine years old
Home Team’s Coach: [to Visiting Coach] HE’S TEN!!!
No Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Monday, May 22nd, 2006
I’ve never wished I were a delivery driver before.
Whispering Woods Subdivision, Moon Township.
A Delivery Driver pulls up to deliver a pizza, and after he delivers it to a family, some high school kids come to the door:
High School Kid #1: Hey, man, what the hell are you doing here?
[Driver ignores the kids as he’s walking away.]
High School Kid #2: Come here, Fag.
[Driver continues to ignore them. High School Kid #2 pulls down his pants and moons the Driver]
Driver: [making a kissing sound] Nice ass pretty boy, call me some time.
[High School Kid #2 runs at the Driver. The Driver punches him in the face and jumps in his car and leaves]
— Overheard by Anthony
2 Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Friday, May 19th, 2006
A rose by any other flower vendor…
Flower Stand, Station Square.
A guy in his early 30s is buying roses for his girlfriend:
Flower Vendor: You know, it’s a good thing that you got lilac-colored roses.
Boyfriend: Why?
Flower Vendor: Because they’re the only ones that actually smell like roses.
Girlfriend: [smelling roses] Ooohh… I didn’t know roses didn’t smell like roses.
No Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Thursday, May 18th, 2006
Those are called “`Burgh Balls”.
School Playground,19th & Sarah, South Side.
A group of kids is playing kickball, and Kid #1 tries to kick Kid #2 in the crotch:
Kid #2: [Screaming] MY BALLS ARE MADE OF STEEL!
— Overheard by Sloan