Duke’s Bar, Millvale Ave., North Oakland:

Bartender: [speaking to a customer] Do not do LSD. Do not do LSD.

[His voice gets louder and is now speaking to the whole bar in the form of a PSA. Bar quiets to listen.]

Bartender: Don’t do LSD. But if you’re going to do LSD, don’t do it in Pittsburgh right now. Don’t do LSD in Pittsburgh right now or you’ll end up in the asylum like my brother.

[Bar returns to normal chatter.]

— Overheard by Jacko and Elsa