Archive for March 2006
Monday, March 20th, 2006
But Laura did deserve to finally hear the truth.
David Lawrence Computer Lab, 10 p.m., Friday:
D-Bag on Cell Phone: — someone got my A-I-M password and got on my account. She IMed Laura this morning and told her she had hairy arms.
— Yeah, that is not cool. And she told Laura my A-I-M password. She must have hacked into my computer.
Studious Chick: [whispering] I just want to kill that guy.
Studious Guy: Yeah, I know. [laughs]
Studious Chick: It’s just like – fwaah! [makes two-hand motion to depict the idiocy that is exploding into her face/desperation]
Studious Dude: But it is dramatic.
Studious Chick: He’s got to be a freshman.
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Friday, March 17th, 2006
St. Patrick’s Week: Because One Day Just Isn’t Enough
Uncle Sam’s, Oakland:
Fifth-Year Senior 1: He was like, “Blehhh, blehhh!” — and it’s a cheeseburger coming up, but he’s so drunk he doesn’t care; he’s just laughing, sitting there having conversations — “blehh, blehh.”
— Overheard by zig
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Friday, March 17th, 2006
The Definition of Work-Interesting
Giant Eagle, East Liberty.
A Cashier looks puzzled after a Customer hands him his keys, but no Advantage Card™. The Customer then points to his key-shaped Bonuscard, a savings card for the similarly named Giant™ grocery chain:
Cashier: Whoa, look, it’s like a key! [To the Manager:] COME LOOK AT THIS! Their card thing is like a key! Why don’t we ever get anything like this?
— Overheard by Tory and Chip
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Thursday, March 16th, 2006
It’s hard to talk through so much foam
46G, Outbound :
Man on Cell Phone: But I don’t have rabies! I DON’T HAVE RABIES!
— Overheard by Wendy Davis
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Thursday, March 16th, 2006
He’s a keeper.
77G, Inbound.
“Chicken-Head,” excited: He said for my birfday he was gonna get me the new T.I. and take me to Wendy’s!
- Overheard by Jack Wilson
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Wednesday, March 15th, 2006
Well, what’s left of it…
Ritter’s Diner, 11 p.m., Thursday Night:
Customer: You’re in a good mood tonight.
Waitress: What makes you say that?
Customer: You’ve got a smile—
Waitress: [Deadpan, completely serious] It’s fake.
— Overheard by Megan
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Wednesday, March 15th, 2006
Is this irony? Alanis MoriSsette ruined that for me.
Forbes and Bigelow, Oakland:
Sign on An Outside Vendor Truck: “SUPER BOWL SHIRTS AND TEES GET THEM WHILE THERE HOT”
[The Cathedral of Learning looms in the background.]
— Seen by RVW
No Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized, Pitt, Education, Intelligence, Sports
Tuesday, March 14th, 2006
Don’t you hate it when your friends bother you at work?
Sixth Avenue, Downtown, Morning.
A homeless man is sitting on the curb, jangling his cup at passersby while a man who appears to be working-class converses with him loudly and emphatically:
Man 2: And you can NOT be coming over there like you did yesterday! You really fouled things up! I was trying to make some MONEY there, man!
— Overheard by Alyia
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Tuesday, March 14th, 2006
Getting Hit By a Bus: A Proud Pitt Tradition Since Well Before You Were Born
Gus Miller’s, Forbes Avenue:
Hobo: …and that was when I married your aunt. She’s one of the finest women in the world, and she’s nothin’ but a baby doll.
Guy: Mm-hmm.
Hobo: You know why I have to take this Advil? I have to keep my memory alive. Because I got hit by a bus.
Guy: Ohhh.
Hobo: That was 32 years ago. That was — oh, my — well before you were born.
— Overheard by M.Davies
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Monday, March 13th, 2006
“As opposed to when I just punched you now. That’ll be eight dollars.”
Starbucks, Murray & Forward.
A Teen Girl hits another’s knee:
Teen Girl 1: I was testing your reflexes. I tried to test his reflexes before, [points to preoccupied Boy with them] but his leg wasn’t dangling. His feet were on the floor.
So basically I just punched him in the knee for no reason.
— Overheard by M. Davies