Overheard in Pittsburgh

Indica Bistro, Craig St., Oakland.
A young man and a Young Woman who has mentioned repeatedly that she is the product of “a private Jewish school” [DROP], are on an interminable dinner date:

Young Jewish Woman, discussing chocolate: I’m not a fascist about brand; I’m a fascist about taste. I’m a fascist about quality, but I’m not a fascist about brand.

— Overheard by McArdle

Near Crazy Mocha, Ellsworth Avenue, Shadyside.
An unassuming Asian Man in a baseball cap, is casually walking down the street:

Crazy Lady, running across the street to join him: HEY!  YOU LOOKED JUST LIKE JET LI WALKIN’ DOWN THE STREET!
[She walks continues to walk with him, but the Asian Man never says a thing to her.]

— Overheard by foods

South Bouquet St., Oakland, 2 a.m., Saturday Night:

College Kid on Cell: If I were really a raisin, we couldn’t be having this conversation right now.

Point Brugge Café, Point Breeze:

Guy: Only in McKeesport can you be abducted in McKeesport and stay in McKeesport!

Kiva Han, Craig St., Oakland.
A Hipster Dude offers the Hippie Chick Cashier a two-dollar bill, four half-dollar coins, a dollar bill and two quarters:

Hippie Chick, staring at the money: Whoa dude. Are you, like, from the future or something?

— Overheard by Smokey

Lobby, Newspaper Building, Downtown.
Two Men exit an elevator:

Man #1: … so if he doesn’t take the plea, he’s going to be prosecuted as a misdemeanor.
Man #2: What an asshat!
Man #1: I know!

— Overheard by g8

Best Buy, Bethel Park:

Woman: So this is one of those pyroclastic ovens?

Stunned Salesperson: [Pause] Yeah. “Pyroclastic.” No chipping lava on thisbaby…

— Overheard by KGB

Ellsworth Avenue, Shadyside.
Two black men enter the very inconspicuous gay bar 5801, only to come out moments later. They look at each other and burst into bent-over laughter and run around, acting dizzy:

Man #1: WHAT THE FUCK?!