Archive for March 2006
Friday, March 31st, 2006
Chocolate Moussolini
Indica Bistro, Craig St., Oakland.
A young man and a Young Woman who has mentioned repeatedly that she is the product of “a private Jewish school” [DROP], are on an interminable dinner date:
Young Jewish Woman, discussing chocolate: I’m not a fascist about brand; I’m a fascist about taste. I’m a fascist about quality, but I’m not a fascist about brand.
— Overheard by McArdle
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Thursday, March 30th, 2006
Flattery will get you nowhere.
Near Crazy Mocha, Ellsworth Avenue, Shadyside.
An unassuming Asian Man in a baseball cap, is casually walking down the street:
Crazy Lady, running across the street to join him: HEY! YOU LOOKED JUST LIKE JET LI WALKIN’ DOWN THE STREET!
[She walks continues to walk with him, but the Asian Man never says a thing to her.]
— Overheard by foods
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Thursday, March 30th, 2006
Raisins have an earlier bedtime.
South Bouquet St., Oakland, 2 a.m., Saturday Night:
College Kid on Cell: If I were really a raisin, we couldn’t be having this conversation right now.
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Wednesday, March 29th, 2006
McKeesport: Where the men are men, fake penises are microwaved, and the kidnapped women just kind of hang out at their abductors’ houses.
Point Brugge Café, Point Breeze:
Guy: Only in McKeesport can you be abducted in McKeesport and stay in McKeesport!
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Wednesday, March 29th, 2006
You don’t get quirks like this at Starbucks!
Kiva Han, Craig St., Oakland.
A Hipster Dude offers the Hippie Chick Cashier a two-dollar bill, four half-dollar coins, a dollar bill and two quarters:
Hippie Chick, staring at the money: Whoa dude. Are you, like, from the future or something?
— Overheard by Smokey
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Tuesday, March 28th, 2006
Could the stenographer please read back that last part?
Lobby, Newspaper Building, Downtown.
Two Men exit an elevator:
Man #1: … so if he doesn’t take the plea, he’s going to be prosecuted as a misdemeanor.
Man #2: What an asshat!
Man #1: I know!
— Overheard by g8
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Tuesday, March 28th, 2006
Lava trivia is all the rage these days.
Best Buy, Bethel Park:
Woman: So this is one of those pyroclastic ovens?
Stunned Salesperson: [Pause] Yeah. “Pyroclastic.” No chipping lava on thisbaby…
— Overheard by KGB
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Monday, March 27th, 2006
It’s like they got gassed at boot camp.
Ellsworth Avenue, Shadyside.
Two black men enter the very inconspicuous gay bar 5801, only to come out moments later. They look at each other and burst into bent-over laughter and run around, acting dizzy:
Man #1: WHAT THE FUCK?!
Man #2 continues to run in a circle.
No Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized, Shadyside, Drinking, Drunks & Bars, Attraction, Love & Sex, Social Divisions
Monday, March 27th, 2006
Misunderstanding Monday: That movie’s not as hot as you might think.
Information Desk, Carnegie Library, Mount Washington:
Elderly Man: I’m looking for a series of tapes on anxiety by Linda Bassett.
[Librarian types this into her computer, then shakes her head.]
Librarian: Hmmm… All I’m coming up with by her is a video called Calendar Girls.
[…]
Man: That might work…
— Overheard by L. Cronin
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Friday, March 24th, 2006
Talk to your children before someone else does.
Smithfield St., Downtown, Morning.
A 30-year-old father walks, holding hands with his toddler son:
Dad: Poopin’ on peoples’ cars: that’s a nasty thing to do!
— Overheard by jack wilson