Archive for February 2006
Tuesday, February 28th, 2006
Tumor Tuesday: Everyone needs a hobby.
Jefferson Regional Medical Center, Whitehall.
Two women in their late 40s are walking down the hall away from the mammography department:
Woman: It’s boobies that make Post Boobie Bran so wonderful.
It’s boobies that make Post Boobie Bran so marvelous.
It’s boobies that make Post Boobie Bran spectacular.
More boobies! Lots more boobies!
More boobies than you have ever seen before!
If you like boobies — plump, juicy boobies — you’ll like Post Boobie Bran more!
— Overheard by Rob
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Tuesday, February 28th, 2006
Tumor Tuesday: Irony in Uniform
La Prima Espresso, Strip District, Closing Time.
The La Prima baristas are closing up the shop, and a waitress from the adjoining bakery, Il Piccolo Forno, has come over to take a break and get a cup of coffee:
La Prima Girl, pouring a cup of coffee: How did everything go today? Were you guys busy?
Il Piccolo Forno Girl: Yeah, it just never stops over there.
[She pauses to light a cigarette, takes a deep drag, and blows an enormous puff of smoke into the air]
Il Piccolo Forno Girl: That place is going to kill me.
— Overheard by Smokey
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Tuesday, February 28th, 2006
Tumor Tuesday: Everything I need to know, I learned in Kindergarten.
61C Inbound, Oakland.
A Guy takes a cigarette from his pack as he prepares to depart:
Girl: Those are bad for you, you know?
Guy: So is talking to strangers.
[Guy departs bus.]
— Overheard by BEllwood
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Tuesday, February 28th, 2006
Tumor Tuesday: Everything in its own time.
Morton’s of Chicago, Downtown:
A tipsy, overweight Woman is aggressively flirting with an older Guido in a suit, who seems ambivalent about the situation. The woman lights up a smoke:
Guido: You know, smoking’s really bad for you.
Woman: When I go back on the anti-depressants I’m supposed to be on, I’ll quit smoking.
— Overheard by yet another mike
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Monday, February 27th, 2006
Mumbler Monday - This guy knows what’s happening on Lost.
Einstein Brothers Bagels, Wilkins Township.
A weathered man with a red face and a white beard sits at a table, drawing diagrams and jotting notes on crumpled paper. Deep in thought, he periodically mutters to himself:
Weathered Man: That’s the entire population of Earth in the 20th century!
— Dr. Martin Luther King …
— 31127 … 5 …
— Roosties … [Mumbles] … roosters are golden; they just don’t know …
— Pittsburgh! …
— Connect six-six to six U …
— You’ve got to be joking! …
— Henry the 19th! Killers. There are only 23 that count, and they’re all killers.
— Overheard by zig
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Monday, February 27th, 2006
Mumbler Monday: Truth is in the Details
Packed 61C Outbound, Oakland.
A Girl takes one of the few empty seats, next to an Older Fellow, who is muttering steadily to himself:
Older Fellow: …Fat ass…
[Girl looks confused and uncomfortable.]
[Bus stops at a crowded bus stop.]
Older Fellow: …That’s a lot of people…
[Bus passes a church.]
Older Fellow: …Church…
[Bus passes CMU.]
Older Fellow: …College…
Girl: *Sigh…*
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Friday, February 24th, 2006
Full marks!
Common Room, Cathedral of Learning, Pitt Campus.
A Girl chatters excitedly to her friend about the speech she’ll give later:
Girl: So, I invented a new word: Vaginatarianism.
It’s for lesbian vegetarians.
— Overheard by Amy
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Friday, February 24th, 2006
Hardees was a proud sponsor of Ally McBeal
Hardees, Millvale:
Patron: Is that a ladies’ room or a men’s room back there?
Police Officer Patron: It could be one of those men’s and women’s restrooms, you know, like, together.
[…]
Police Officer Patron: Well, not together, but you know what I mean.
— Overheard by Tory and Chip
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Thursday, February 23rd, 2006
SCIENCE IS FUN!!!
Bus Stop, Forbes & Murray, Squirrell Hill, 11:30 p.m.
Two hyper female Asian CMU students are hopping around trying to keep warm
and chatting:
Girl 1: Did you know that like 70 percent of the dust in your house is made of dead skin cells? `Cause we shed so much! Isn’t that awesome?!
Girl 2: Wow, that is so awesome!
Girl 1: I KNOW!
— Overheard by jen
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Thursday, February 23rd, 2006
Let’s just say he’s very…inventive
Restaurant, Squirrel Hill.
Father and Little Boy emerge from restroom:
Father, loudly: If you have that much trouble going to the bathroom by yourself, I don’t know how you make it at school by yourself.