2006 January » Overheard in Pittsburgh

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Sunday, January 22nd, 2006

Overheard in Pittsburgh in the News

As I am sure many of the readers are aware, City Paper ran an interview with me this week, focusing on Overheard in Pittsburgh, as well as my work with Friday Nite Improvs, Pittsburgh’s longest-running theater/comedy show, and the world’s only all-audience participation improv jam.

The situation was a strange (but good) one for me; I have interviewed many people but have never been interviewed like that before. I learned a lot from the experience: don’t talk too much, or you won’t have much control over what ends up in the article*; take notes with you so you remember what you actually would like to talk about; and try not to drink too much caffeine during an interview.

My mother, an elementary school principal, wrote me with the following note: “But let’s be politically correct — you’re a sensitive guy — it’s “mentally challenged”, not “retarded”. She has a point; I did say “retarded” four times in one sentence in a published interview. For the record, though, there ought to have been quotes around the word in the interview. “Retarded” wasn’t my word or sentiment.

I really liked the photos we took, and the one they used looks much better in color:

In color, you can see better that the photographer used a fish-eye lens, and that I’m not incredibly round with a tiny hand.

I applaud those of you who were able to crack the Internet code and figure out that “overheardinpgh” and “blogspot” were reversed in the article. Your tech savvy is astounding, and I salute you.

Now, while you may know about the City Paper interview, you most likely did not catch the mention in today’s QT column in the Chicago Sun-Times. A brief mention, but a mention nonetheless. Thanks to KGB for the heads-up.

You can also look for me discussing Overheard in Pittsburgh in an article in the January/February issue of Pittsburgh Metropolitan Magazine. For those of you who don’t know, this is a magazine that is distributed mostly to Squirrel Hill and Shadyside, which is one of the recent cottage industry of publications for local residents with lots of disposable income. Apparently, I am now somehow relevant to that.

* I’d like to point out that I don’t just work at the restaurant mentioned in the article. In addition, I do a lot of PR work for large companies such as Glamour Magazine, Coors Light and Comcast, and I’m applying for grad schools. And I’ve been invited to pitch comicbook stories for a certain mutant superhero team. And I’m an experienced improv teacher. I do a lot more than serve food; I just wanted to set the record straight on that one.

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Sunday, January 22nd, 2006

Pittsburgh Priorities

Business Branch, Carnegie Library, Downtown.
A woman is checking out a hefty text:

Librarian: Be sure to put that book down long enough to watch the game!

— Submitted by Kat F.

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Sunday, January 22nd, 2006

Any given Sunday is a holiday in Pittsburgh

Steelers Game, Heinz Field.
Jerome Bettis runs out of the bullpen and onto the field:

Drunk Steelers Fan: SEASON’S BEATINGS!!!!!!!!

— Submitted by Melanie

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Saturday, January 21st, 2006

Things to Do Before You’re 30

Computer Cluster, Wean Hall, Carnegie Mellon:

Dude 1: Yeah, man, I had a threesome with my girlfriend over break.
Dude 2: Sweet, man. She didn’t get jealous or anything?
Dude 1: Nah, it turned her on.
Dude 2: Cool. I got hit by a car yesterday.

— Submitted by Moose

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Friday, January 20th, 2006

That’s always my point of reference.

71A from Shadyside going to Oakland, 9 a.m.:

Thirty-Something Woman on Phone: OK, let me give you directions. You know where the abortion clinic is?

— Submitted by michelle

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Friday, January 20th, 2006

It was times like this that Debbie really regretted that tryst with Satan (The Dark Lord).

Changing Room, Rue 21, Oakland:

Teenage Daughter: This one doesn’t fit; get me another size.
[She drapes a shirt over door stall]
Mother: In this color?
Teenage Daughter: Did I say I wanted another color?
[Mother leaves and returns with another shirt. Daughter tries it on]
Teenage Daughter: This color is ridiculous!
Mother: I like it.
Teenage Daughter: As if I’m not pale enough from the winter, this makes me look worse! Get me another color!
Mother: Which color?
Teenage Daughter: A COLOR THAT DOESN’T MAKE ME LOOK PALE!
[Mother leaves and returns with another color shirt.]
Teenage Daughter: What am I going to wear under this?
Mother: A tank top would look nice.
Teenage Daughter: No. Listen to what I’m saying: WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR UNDER THIS?!
[Mother looks uncertain.]
Teenage Daughter: What is your problem? Are you retarded?!
[She pauses then walks out of the dressing room]
Teenage Daughter: I can’t do this right now.

— Submitted by Tia

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Thursday, January 19th, 2006

The Culinary Institute has had to ban certain colors of chef hats because of this sort of thing.

16B Inbound, 8:30 a.m.:

Female Culinary Institute Student 1: I swear I’ll break her fuckin’ leg if that bitch touches my turkey again.
Female Culinary Institute Student 2: Damn straight! Fuck that cilantro shit!

— Submitted by bwzimmerman

Overheard in Pittsburgh True Fact™: Cilantro is the stem and leaf and coriander is the seed of the same plant. FACT!

Overheard in Pittsburgh Fun Fact™: Cartoon turkeys always look more appetizing than real ones. Real ones should have those little white things at the ends of the legs. FACT!