Archive for December 2005
Thursday, December 8th, 2005
The Inspiration for the Five-Day Fratcast
Atwood Street, South Oakland, 2 a.m.:
Popped-Collar Frat Guy on Phone: Dude, it’s snowing!
—Snow-ing!
—Like, snow, man!
—Snow!
—SNOW!
[Gets frustrated]
—SNOW! Like the stuff you snort, except made of water!
[Laughs]
—Haha, yeah, man. Yeah. “Snow.”
— Submitted by Jen
No Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Wednesday, December 7th, 2005
Sorry, that’s not considered “work.”
South Craig Street, Oakland:
Girl on Cell Phone: So you wanna get a beer after work?
Lulu’s Bum: You know I do, baby!
— Submitted by Snicker-Snack
3 Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Wednesday, December 7th, 2005
If only more people would feel comfortable speaking openly about this
Stairwell, Cathedral of Learning:
Masculine Mashed-Potatoes Guy, very sincerely: I really enjoy Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You.”— Submitted by Robin H
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Tuesday, December 6th, 2005
Overheard in Pittsburgh Life Lessons™: Know Your Audience
UPMC Admitting Room, Magee-Womens Hospital, Oakland.
Four Overweight Yinzers discuss names:
Young Yinzer Man: — Or Benjamin…
Young Yinzer Woman: That’d be a good name.
Old Yinzer Man: A good Steelers name!
Young Yinzer Man: Oh, like Roethlisberger!
Old Yinzer Woman: Or Jerome…
[Everyone stares at her silently.]
Old Yinzer Woman: …His middle name could be Bettis…
…
…Nickname him “The Bus”…
[Everyone continues to stare blankly.]
— Overheard by Ted Cook
1 Comment » - Tags: Oakland, Children, Parents & Grandparents, Social Divisions, Sports, Life Lessons™, Pittsburgh, Yinzers, @ Hospital
Monday, December 5th, 2005
Milk?
71C, Inbound.
An old man is talking to a man in a motorized wheel chair and asking him questions about the machine:
Man in Wheel Chair: Sometimes it can jerk, which can be bad if you’re drinking coffee.
Old Man: Coffee?
Man in Wheel Chair: Coffee, tea, anything like that.
Old Man: Oh…
[Long Pause]
Old Man: Water?
— Submitted by Feightner
2 Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Friday, December 2nd, 2005
The master chef had grown to love digitially recording his lesson plans in advance.
Liberty and Strawberry Way, near the Culinary Institute:
Man on Cell Phone: Well, salt smells the way it tastes: fucking delicious!
— Submitted by Ben N
No Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Thursday, December 1st, 2005
Debra’s inventive wit only hinted at the depth of her incisive comedic genius.
Hallway, Old Student Center, CMU campus:
Girl: So he gives me a note saying “He’s a trisexual,” and I ask,”What does that mean, guys, girls, and your mom?”
— Submitted by Smurf
1 Comment » - Tags: Uncategorized
Thursday, December 1st, 2005
Overheard in Pittsburgh Blog News
1. Apologies about the lack of post today. Much of this week was spent trying to find a home for the Best Dog in the World, found Monday night on Ellsworth. Scrawny and with matted fur, the poor thing was wandering the mean streets of Shadyside in a filthy collar that given another half hour might have gotten her thrown out of the neighborhood for being too tacky. We like our homeless dogs to at least try to look classy in Shadyside. Taking care of her and finding a place to live has been a long and taxing ordeal, too long to bore you with the details. Suffice to say, the staff of Animal Friends, Pittsburgh’s no-kill animal shelter, tried their best to help us out, but they are completely out of space at the moment; and a very nice lady in Warren, Ohio got a great new family member tonight.
2. A reader asked about the donation button on the side. I decided that the ads I had up were annoying to look at and they weren’t really paying off. I figured, hey, the PayPal donation button is smaller, and if someone wanted to send me a buck sometime, they could do so.
3. As the weather has gotten colder, the submissions this blog relies on have slowed to a trickle. This is the part where I beg you please, please, please, baby, send in some more Awesome. Be sure to tell your friends and enemies about the Overheard in Pittsburgh. More submissions means more fun for you in between checking your e-mail, ESPN and The Onion.
4. Oh, look: I just got one!
3 Comments » - Tags: Admin
Thursday, December 1st, 2005
Overheard in Pittsburgh Life Lessons™: There is always a silver lining.
Squirrel Cage, Squirrel Hill:
Co-Worker 1: I’m on new anti-depressants so I can’t drink.
Co-Worker 2: Oh, that sucks.
Co-Worker 1: Well, I guess I can drink, but I’ll just get drunk faster.
Co-Worker 2: Oh, that’s cool.
Co-Worker 1: Yeah, and it makes me more likely to have seizures, but that’s OK because I like the taste of wallet…
— Submitted by Sensible Apologist