UPMC Admitting Room, Magee-Womens Hospital, Oakland.
Four Overweight Yinzers discuss names:

Young Yinzer Man: — Or Benjamin…
Young Yinzer Woman: That’d be a good name.
Old Yinzer Man: A good Steelers name!
Young Yinzer Man: Oh, like Roethlisberger!
Old Yinzer Woman: Or Jerome…
[Everyone stares at her silently.]
Old Yinzer Woman: …His middle name could be Bettis…
…
…Nickname him “The Bus”…
[Everyone continues to stare blankly.]

— Overheard by Ted Cook