Archive for December 2005

Friday, December 30th, 2005

The Lourdes stamp was a surprise hit this year.

Post Office, Millvale.
There is a small line at the end of the day, and two postal workers behind the counter. An older (50-60) woman, large and hunched over, walks up to the counter with a huge pile of Christmas cards:

Woman: I’m going to need 50 Christmas stamps.
Postal Worker: OK… [opens drawer] Do you want “Christmas Cookies” or“Madonna and Child”?
Woman: [Loudly, and sounding slightly offended] Oh! OH! “Madonna and Child”, PLEASE.

[Awkward pause in the post office]

Woman: If I so much as LOOK at a Christmas cookie, I gain 10 pounds.

— Overheard by Etzel


Friday, December 30th, 2005

Jews can’t enter a Christian house until they are invited.

In the Deli Line, Crafton-Ingram Giant Eagle, Crafton:

Older Woman 1: Is your son coming home for Christmas?
Older Woman 2: Yep, he’ll be home on Christmas Eve and he’s bringing home his new girlfriend. I don’t know why she is celebrating Christmas with us — [quietly] she’s a Jew
.Young Woman 1, behind them: OK then; thanks, Hitler.Young Woman 2: Totally.

— Submitted by Jim


Friday, December 30th, 2005

Enough about Nick and Jessica, woman!

Christmas section, Target, Waterfront:

Middle-Aged Yinzer Guy: Tinkerbell?! NOW you’re talking about someone I wanna hear about!

— Submitted by foods


Thursday, December 29th, 2005

Blue Balls: Not Just A Ride… It’s An Adventure!

CMU costume shop, late night.
An all-freshmen run crew is working and conversing loudly:

Freshman: …Blue balls are a full-body experience…

— Submitted by Sailor Caro


Thursday, December 29th, 2005

I bet even his dreams are elaborately lame.

Crazy Mocha, Southside:

Flamboyant Man in a Duquesne Sweatshirt, to girl: We could get rings and then wear them in the bars. Then, we’ll start to have a fake fight, and I’ll throw the ring at you when Krista pretends to be your lesbian lover. Then the next day we’ll go back and pretend you’re pregnant.

[The conversation stopped when the two realized a man sitting at a computer was laughing at them.]

— Submitted by Nick


Wednesday, December 28th, 2005

150

I am happy to note that this blog has made it to 150 submissions. I have been working a lot lately, so I haven’t been as able to post regularly, but I’m going to make sure that for the near future, there will be two posts a day, thanks to a recent backlog.

And now that I have some money, I’ll be printing up some stickers and taking the time to poster for the site. So far we mostly have college students and tech people reading, and I am going to try to expand the readership

So look forward to more Overheard in Pittsburgh. We’re not nearly through with this city.


Wednesday, December 28th, 2005

People should take it down a knotch before we’ve had our caffeine.

Crazy Mocha, Carnegie Public Library, Oakland.
A library employee approaches an acquaintance in line for coffee:

Staff: Oh, do you work here now?
Patron: No, I’m just getting a cup of coffee.
Staff: I see. A cup of “Joe,” a cup of “Java,” a cup of “mud.”
Patron: Yeah.
Staff: So, what’s your poison?
Patron: … Coffee.

— Submitted by pudhaus


Tuesday, December 27th, 2005

I hope you all remembered to tip your crazy ladies this holiday season.

In front of the Kelly-Strayhorn Theater, East Liberty.
A small woman in a bright yellow coat is walking quickly. As she passes, she turns:

Canary Lady: Yeah, I’m out of my mind. What of it?

— Overheard by McArdle


Saturday, December 24th, 2005

You Make the Call: Which Job Should He Take?

Doctor’s Office, West View:

Elderly Woman: He says he just needs more money
Elderly Man: EH?
Elderly Woman: HE WANTS MORE MONEY.
Elderly Man: Well he’s not getting it.
Elderly Woman: I wonder which job he should take?
Elderly Man: EH?
Elderly Woman: I WONDER WHICH JOB HE SHOULD TAKE.
Elderly Man: I don’t know either
Elderly Woman: We don’t know much about them…
Elderly Man: Yeah, we don’t know much about the ice cream parlor or the mechanic shop.

— Submitted by Kevin Frushour


Saturday, December 24th, 2005

Before the meltdown, he often sat on a turned-around chair to “rap” with teenagers.

500, 5th & Liberty, Outbound:
Man: EVERYBODY thinks I’m a bum until I start talkin’ `bout JESUS, because JESUS is the REASON for the SEASON, and I’m gonna give His love to ALL Y’ALL.— Submitted by bwzimmerman