Overheard in Pittsburgh

Post Office, Millvale.
There is a small line at the end of the day, and two postal workers behind the counter. An older (50-60) woman, large and hunched over, walks up to the counter with a huge pile of Christmas cards:

Woman: I’m going to need 50 Christmas stamps.
Postal Worker: OK… [opens drawer] Do you want “Christmas Cookies” or“Madonna and Child”?
Woman: [Loudly, and sounding slightly offended] Oh! OH! “Madonna and Child”, PLEASE.

[Awkward pause in the post office]

Woman: If I so much as LOOK at a Christmas cookie, I gain 10 pounds.

— Overheard by Etzel

In the Deli Line, Crafton-Ingram Giant Eagle, Crafton:

Older Woman 1: Is your son coming home for Christmas?
Older Woman 2: Yep, he’ll be home on Christmas Eve and he’s bringing home his new girlfriend. I don’t know why she is celebrating Christmas with us — [quietly] she’s a Jew
.Young Woman 1, behind them: OK then; thanks, Hitler.Young Woman 2: Totally.

— Submitted by Jim

Christmas section, Target, Waterfront:

Middle-Aged Yinzer Guy: Tinkerbell?! NOW you’re talking about someone I wanna hear about!

— Submitted by foods

CMU costume shop, late night.
An all-freshmen run crew is working and conversing loudly:

Freshman: …Blue balls are a full-body experience…

— Submitted by Sailor Caro

Crazy Mocha, Southside:

Flamboyant Man in a Duquesne Sweatshirt, to girl: We could get rings and then wear them in the bars. Then, we’ll start to have a fake fight, and I’ll throw the ring at you when Krista pretends to be your lesbian lover. Then the next day we’ll go back and pretend you’re pregnant.

[The conversation stopped when the two realized a man sitting at a computer was laughing at them.]

— Submitted by Nick

I am happy to note that this blog has made it to 150 submissions. I have been working a lot lately, so I haven’t been as able to post regularly, but I’m going to make sure that for the near future, there will be two posts a day, thanks to a recent backlog.

And now that I have some money, I’ll be printing up some stickers and taking the time to poster for the site. So far we mostly have college students and tech people reading, and I am going to try to expand the readership

So look forward to more Overheard in Pittsburgh. We’re not nearly through with this city.

Crazy Mocha, Carnegie Public Library, Oakland.
A library employee approaches an acquaintance in line for coffee:

Staff: Oh, do you work here now?
Patron: No, I’m just getting a cup of coffee.
Staff: I see. A cup of “Joe,” a cup of “Java,” a cup of “mud.”
Patron: Yeah.
Staff: So, what’s your poison?
Patron: … Coffee.

— Submitted by pudhaus

In front of the Kelly-Strayhorn Theater, East Liberty.
A small woman in a bright yellow coat is walking quickly. As she passes, she turns:

Canary Lady: Yeah, I’m out of my mind. What of it?

— Overheard by McArdle

Doctor’s Office, West View:

Elderly Woman: He says he just needs more money
Elderly Man: EH?
Elderly Woman: HE WANTS MORE MONEY.
Elderly Man: Well he’s not getting it.
Elderly Woman: I wonder which job he should take?
Elderly Man: EH?
Elderly Woman: I WONDER WHICH JOB HE SHOULD TAKE.
Elderly Man: I don’t know either
Elderly Woman: We don’t know much about them…
Elderly Man: Yeah, we don’t know much about the ice cream parlor or the mechanic shop.

— Submitted by Kevin Frushour

500, 5th & Liberty, Outbound:
Man: EVERYBODY thinks I’m a bum until I start talkin’ `bout JESUS, because JESUS is the REASON for the SEASON, and I’m gonna give His love to ALL Y’ALL.— Submitted by bwzimmerman