Archive for November 2005

Wednesday, November 9th, 2005

The Tumultuous Life of the Gray Market Curtain Dealer

Mr. Smalls’ office, Millvale:

Businessman: And with that amount of money in cash, I’m going to need you to fill out a 1099 form.
Independent Contactor: A what?
Businessman: A 1099 form. For tax purposes.
Independent Contactor: [pale and nervous] No, no, I don’t do those.
Businessman: What do you mean you don’t do them? Are you in trouble with the government?
Independent Contactor: …No… Uh, well, that is, not yet…

— Overheard by Etzel


Tuesday, November 8th, 2005

Overheard in Pittsburgh Life Lessons˜: Be a Problem Solver, Not a Problem Maker

South Park Post Office:

Postal Worker 1: Well, at least I got rid of the Hannukah stamps yesterday.
Postal Worker 2: Someone asked for Hanukkah stamps?
Postal Worker 1: Nah, this lady wanted birthday stamps. I showed her the Hannukah stamps. I said, “How about these? They have candles on them.” And she bought them.

— Submitted by KGB


Tuesday, November 8th, 2005

Angelina Jolie: The Early Years

Outside a Lecture Hall, Chevron, Pitt Campus:

Loud Chick on Cell: They’re adopting him and they already have, like, four kids. It makes me want my parents to adopt someone because they only have two.
— We’re moving into a new house.
— No, he would have the guest bedroom.

— Submitted by Sophie


Tuesday, November 8th, 2005

Those are actually the four food dwarves.

7-Eleven, Oakland:

Counter Guy: Hey, you’ve got all four food groups: salty, sweet … chewy … and drinky.

— Submitted by M. Davies


Monday, November 7th, 2005

“Sir, if you want to buy drugs, you’ll have to be more specific.”

Gus Miller’s Newsstand, Oakland:

Counter Guy: Is this is all?
Customer: Yeah … and gimme one of those 99-dollar pretzels.

— Submitted by M. Davies


Sunday, November 6th, 2005

He’s not looking at him from close range.

Biology Class, Clapp Hall, Pitt Campus:

Smart-Ass Student: Wait, can we go back to the baby example?
Biology Professor: Sure.
Smart-Ass Student: How are babies made?
Professor: What?
Smart-Ass Student: My dad tried to explain it to me, but he wasn’t much of a biologist.
Professor: [indicating Student’s existence] He obviously was enough of one.

— Submitted by Sophie


Sunday, November 6th, 2005

“…particularly the home plate on the first floor.”

Seminar class, Fourth Floor, WuhWuhPosvar Hall, Pitt Campus.
A screeching, elevator repair-related noise has been disrupting the class for about 10 minutes.

Forlorn Professor: This building is the Soviet Union.

— Submitted by Robin H


Saturday, November 5th, 2005

Overheard in Pittsburgh Life Lessons™: Be a Role Model

54C, West Oakland:

Bus Driver: We’re changing buses!
Man Waiting with New Bus: `d someone puke?
Bus Driver: Yeah, and then a few sympathetic ones did too.

— Submitted by Static Clang


Saturday, November 5th, 2005

The Score at the 100

Here’s a listing of the Top submitters to the site:

Robin H — 13
McArdle — 11
The Connor — 10
M. Davies — 6
Moose — 4
Bwzimmerman — 3
Ben — 3

Thanks again to all the submitters for helping Overheard in Pittsburgh come this far!

Stay Alert,
OIP


Saturday, November 5th, 2005

For added irony, the article was about accidental double entendres

Fourth Floor, Hillman Library, Pitt Campus.
Roofers are carrying bags of debris into the hallway from the roof-access stairs. A female student, contributor Robin H, is photocopying an article out of Ms. Magazine:

Gruff roofer: [Appraising the female student] I should have stayed in school.
[The student, thinking he meant to avoid manual labor, looks up and smiles.]
Gruff roofer: [realizing Robin H heard him] Oh, I just meant — it’s not that I had to stay in school to be a roofer — and that’s what I love — but I what I mean is that you look very … well-studied.

— Submitted, of course, by the comely Robin H

Overheard in Pittsburgh is proud to announce that this is the 100th Overheard posted on this site. I want to thank everyone who has submitted so far, and we look forward to serving up even more slices of life in the future.