Eat ‘n’ Park, Squirrel Hill, the midnight breakfast buffet:

Diner to Kid: Hey, Champ: Come here. Let me see your plate.

That’s a lot of sausage.

My friend here said he could eat more sausage than anyone, but now that I’ve seen your plate, I don’t think he’s right.

Turn it around and show him.

No, not the bacon, yeah, that’s the money.

— Submitted by yincrash