Archive for October 2005
Thursday, October 27th, 2005
In an uncertain world, it doesn’t take much.
The 42S.
A pre-recorded voice announces the Palm Gardens stop:
Suit Guy: I love that guy’s voice. He’s just, like, so reassuring.
– Submitted by Icca
2 Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Wednesday, October 26th, 2005
Overheard in Pittsburgh Search Terms
We have been enjoying reading our site statistics, seeing how people get here. While a remarkable majority of readers reach Overheard in Pittsburgh through bookmarking, a sizable percentage comes through searches.
And those searches? Often very funny. And always - at least to us - interesting.
We hadn’t really expected to be a resource for Boy Scouts, but Google searches for “scout” and “halloween skit scout” have shown that OIP is as valuable a friend to a Boy Scout as Pedro the Mail Burro.
And Halloween is nearing, so we suppose “ghost babies” is appropriate. So is “halloween dorm cmu“
There must be a george garvin somewhere in the world. And maybe he’s a freelance sex educator. Either way, this search term has found several new readers of Overheard in Pittsburgh. Of course, some people find that entry when they’re looking for professionals not under contract.
When we re-inserted the submitter-censored profanity into the mother-son bus argument, we had no idea it would get us hits for “son fucking mom“. We extend to that visitor a warm welcome and a plea to get help. Of course, the Google Blog Search has turned us up as a good source for people looking for things of an Intimate nature.
The anthropological nature of Overheard in Pittsburgh has been garnering interest in pittsburgh stereotypes, pittsburgh dialects, and a certain pittsburgh creamery. That same creamery repeatedly brings in fans of “Cookie Doughn’t You Want Some™” and no we didn’t add the ™.
Other ways in which Overheard in Pittsburgh is a force for good: We’re the #1 MSN result for “stay in school and public service announcement” and the #4 aol search result for “how to dispel stereotypes“, the #1 MSN result for “2006 guiness book of world records”, and the #6 MSN result for those desperately searching for “what does 61c mean“
On Overheard in Pittsburgh, we get fashion-conscious people looking for tips on the “Preppie Look”, celebrity stalkers hunting down zach braff, and a surprising number of Bring it On fans looking for “toros in the atmosphere“.
We are also apparently local experts on “Waterfront Eat ‘n’ Park” (look for some upcoming Overheards from this location) and “pittsburgh the strip“
Somehow, despite being buried in the Google results, people are finding Overheard in Pittsburgh while searching for “steelers“, “cmu“, and “cmu students“.
But, thank God, we’re finally the #7 Google result for “overheard in“.
No Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Wednesday, October 26th, 2005
She would feel no more shame. That day, Sharon decided that everyone would know her secret.
Cathedral Cafe, Cathedral of Learning, Oakland:
Friendly Coffee Lady: Medium or large hazelnut today?
Middle-Aged Redhead Lady: I’ll have a small.
Friendly Coffee Lady: Small hazelnut. Ok.
Middle-Aged Redhead Lady: Small hazelnut. If I have a large, I’ll be peeing all the way home.
Friendly Coffee Lady: Ok!
— Overheard by MacArdle
No Comments » - Tags: Pitt, Health: Physical & Mental, Food & Drink, TMI
Wednesday, October 26th, 2005
His secret ingredient is anger.
Forbes and Murray Inbound Bus Stop
Two CMU Students are standing waiting for a bus. Two High School Girls and a Chef sit on the bench:
CMU Student 1: So you’re lactose intolerant now?
CMU Student 2: Yeah. I’ve had rice milk for so long that I can’t even drink milk anymore.
Chef: You don’t like milk?
CMU Student 2: I never really liked the aftertaste. And rice milk is just as good.
CMU Student 1: Milk is good in tomato soup.
Chef: Cream and cilantro is better.
CMU Student 2: Too true! … Once, I had rice crispies with rice milk.
[The High School Girls giggle.]
[CMU Student 2 sees a bus coming. Excited, he jumps and grabs the roof of the bus stop structure.]
Chef: What the hell are you doing? If that thing fell on me, I’d have killed you.
CMU Student 2: If it fell, I’d already be dead.
Chef: Well I’d wake you up and kill you twice! Dumb bastard.
[The High School Girls giggle.]
– Submitted by TheConnor
4 Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Tuesday, October 25th, 2005
The Wisdom of the Bus Driver
71A, late at night:
Very Drunk Guy at Front of the Bus: I want this stop please stop this–OOPS [He falls on his face getting off, then wanders off.]
Driver: And that, folks, is why you should not drink and ride.
– Submitted by Moose
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Tuesday, October 25th, 2005
Your Tax Dollars at Work
Starbucks, Forbes and Shady, Squirrel Hill.
Late on a Saturday night, four drunken party girls enter and start ordering drinks and pastries:
Drunk Girl 1: No, no, I’m buying: I’m FEMA.
Drunk Girl 2: Oh yeah, FEMA!
All Four: [chanting to the tune of It’s your birthday] Go FEMA! Go FEMA!
Drunk Girl 3: [To barista] She’s FEMA. She’s an actual Hurricane Katrina victim. She lost her home and everything.
[Drunk Girl 1 hands barista a $100 bill (for about $11 worth of coffee and pastries) and looks at the cafe’s tip jars.]
Drunk Girl 1: I’m a Hurricane Katrina victim. Are these donations? You should just donate them directly to me.
[Drunk Friends start to thank Drunk Girl 1]
Drunk Girl 1: It’s cool, tonight’s on FEMA.
– Submitted by G
5 Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Tuesday, October 25th, 2005
Duquesne: A Commitment to Excellence
Eat ‘n’ Park, Waterfront
Girl in Duquesne Sweatshirt: Well, I did lose all that weight. And I threw up that one night.
– Submitted by Robin H
1 Comment » - Tags: Uncategorized
Monday, October 24th, 2005
“Gay” would not be my first guess.
Outside Vendor, Pitt Campus, Oakland:
Dirty Guy with Mustache: –you know, that dude. Was he gay?
Woman with Cap: Who?
Dirty Guy: The guy who was kissing himself.
– Submitted by Reverend Beastly
1 Comment » - Tags: Uncategorized
Monday, October 24th, 2005
The Grossest Faux Pas Ever!
28X, Downtown:
Younger Guy: Oh, excuse me — didn’t mean to bump into you.
Older Guy: It’s OK; I like it when people rub my tushie!
– Submitted by Moose
1 Comment » - Tags: Uncategorized
Sunday, October 23rd, 2005
Seeking Advice: Overheard in Pittsburgh party
Overheard in Pittsburgh is nearing #100 submissions published, and I would like to have a party. A big, public party at a bar or some similar place, with music, etc.
So I need some advice.
Where do you think such a party should be held? Do you own or work at an establishment where we could hold such an event?
Would your business like to co-sponsor an event like this?
I’ve not thrown a party like this before, and any guidance would be much appreciated.