Archive for September 2005
Thursday, September 22nd, 2005
One day, the technicians and the government would know Ronald’s chemical fury.
Organic Chemistry Class, Chevron Hall, Pitt Campus:
Bow-Tied Professor, struggling to align a projector : So it looks like our technicians “fixed” the projection system again. We’re going to have to live with it being slightly dimmer and farther to the right.
[…]
Kind of like the United States.
— Overheard by MichaelD
No Comments » - Tags: Pitt, Education, Beliefs, Credos & Theories, Politics, Jokes, Technology
Thursday, September 22nd, 2005
Overheard in Pittsburgh Presents “You Make the Call: Crazy or Genius?”
64A Outbound, Shady Avenue.
Driver starts barking and chittering like a squirrel out his side window:
Driver: I have to have fun with this job. If you can’t have fun doing your job, then don’t do it.
— Overheard by libcat
1 Comment » - Tags: Squirrel Hill, @ Bus, Intelligence, Work, Beliefs, Credos & Theories, Animals, Crazies, Hijinx
Thursday, September 22nd, 2005
The Value of a Good Education
Morewood Avenue, Oakland:
Drama Major: All right, see you two around.
English Major #1: Have fun with your … Drama. Thing.
[Drama Major walks away.]
English Major #2: I know how you feel, man. Nouns are hard.
English Major #1: Shut up.
– Submitted by TheConnor
5 Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Wednesday, September 21st, 2005
Well, that totally ruined the class’ big finale
David Lawrence Hall, Pitt Campus, Oakland:
Film Professor, speaking about Jack Kerouac: Sometimes he’s describing what’s going on. Sometimes he goes on these meditative riffs.
[A red balloon appears from underneath a front-row chair, floats up to the ceiling and lands with an audible “bop.”]
Professor, undistracted: Sometimes he goes totally off the tracks.
– Submitted by McArdle
Overheard in Pittsburgh FunFact!™: Jack Kerouac wrote and narrated the 1959 film Pull My Daisy, about — get this! — beatnik poets!
Overheard in Pittsburgh FunFact!™: Through an agreement Jack Kerouac reached with author J. D. Salinger, well-worn copies of Kerouac’s books have an exclusive placement in the back pocket of only every other Dreamy Misunderstood Teen Rebel.
4 Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Wednesday, September 21st, 2005
This bizarrely mirrors the transcripts of the Yalta Conference
Outside Red and Irene’s Bar, South Hills:
Girlfriend: Did you think I would never have noticed?
Drunk Boyfriend: It’s not what you think.
Drunk Friend of Boyfriend: Seriously, he’s telling the truth; He didn’t do anything with her.
Girlfriend: Listen, [Drunk Friend], your opinion is like your asshole: You got one, but I am not interested in hearing it.
Drunk Friend of Boyfriend: So what you’re saying is you’re changing your name to “Opinion?”
Girlfriend: Well, [Drunk Boyfriend] has already taken “Asshole,” so I guess yeah.
– Submitted by Lisa
1 Comment » - Tags: Uncategorized
Wednesday, September 21st, 2005
The Languages of Love
Tom’s Diner, South Side:
Manager #1: Hey [Waitress], you know how to speak “blonde?” [Hostess] is on the phone, and she forgot how to get to work. Will you help her out?
Waitress: Hey [Manager # 2], you speak “asshole” don’t you? Will you tell [Manager #1] to shut the fuck up?!
– Submitted by Lisa
Overheard in Pittsburgh FunFact™: The Blonde and Asshole dialects are both becoming increasingly common in certain parts of the city.
4 Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Wednesday, September 21st, 2005
God’s a jealous ex
Fifth Avenue, near St. Paul’s Cathedral, Oakland:
20-something Girl: So a couple weeks ago he got married to a nun.
20-something Guy: A nun? That would be a dull marriage. Talk about a dull sex life.
20-something Girl: Well, an ex-nun.
20-something Guy: Still, that’s just like asking for God to smite you with a bolt of lightning.
– Submitted by Olivia
2 Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Tuesday, September 20th, 2005
The Emmys are a whole world of poorly written fake interaction
Pierce Street, Shadyside:
Dude: So, Zach Braff and Hugh Laurie are presenting, and Hugh Laurie says something. Then Zach Braff says, “Oh, are we doing this with British accents?”
Chick: He didn’t know?
Dude: Have you ever seen the Emmys?
– Submitted by Uncle Joey Sleeps in the Alcove
3 Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Tuesday, September 20th, 2005
We’re sure it do too, sir. We’re sure it do.
Pittsburgh Literacy Council 5k Run, Highland Park:
Large Man, walking while staring at a Krispy Kreme™ donut: I don’t know what it is, but I’m sure it smell good!
– Submitted by McArdle
No Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Tuesday, September 20th, 2005
Tragedy is in this season
Slacker, South Side:
20-Something Guy: You’d wear a skirt with a plane crashing into the World Trade Center on it?
20-Something Girl: Yeah, if it makes my legs look good.
– Submitted by RoosterBooster